Anxiety of Starting a New Job

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Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

Depending on the type of person you are, starting a new job can either be an exciting or a daunting new task. For me, the latter is true. I am an introvert by all definitions of the word and the thought of starting a new job where I know nothing and no one is enough to send me into waves of panic.

After a relatively long period of unemployment, or as I call it “retirement training”, I finally find myself part of the employed crowd once again. This opportunity is both exciting and scary for me.

The New Role

The excitement is that I am helping to create a new role — or at least a refined definition of an existing role — within a very large organization. I find myself in the middle of an “acquisition in progress”. By that, I mean that the company whose office I go to was acquired a couple of years ago. The deal was done but then COVID hit. All efforts to merge processes and systems were halted as they worked to ensure people could work from home. Now that COVID is mostly behind us, the efforts to merge resumes.

New Role Challenges

Creating a new role in an existing organization is challenging. You start from nothing and spend your time trying to justify your existence. Those that envision the role have an end goal in mind but it is not always easy to comprehend that vision. You spend your days trying things out and then measuring their effectiveness. Since the role is not commonly known, there is resistance from within the organization. People aren’t sure what to make of your efforts and don’t understand the value you are trying to provide.

Creating a New Role is like filling out a Dairy Queen Survey

There are similarities between creating a new role and the goals of the Dairy Queen survey I just filled out. Yes, I fill these things out because I love Blizzards and want to make sure any changes they consider making to their menu have been vetted through me. Anyway, this survey happened to be about new potential Blizzard flavours. As I read through their ideas I evaluate what value they might bring to my life. Anything that mentions peanut butter ranks high whereas anything with cake bits isn’t worth my time. Who wants soggy cake crumbs in ice cream anyway? I’m sure those people are out there, I just don’t understand your motivations. Just like I am trying to create a new role, Dairy Queen is trying to create new Blizzard flavours. Do you see what I did there? Nice comparison, eh? (“eh?” is a Canadian term meaning “right?” or “correct?” or “don’t you agree?”).

Back to the Challenges

This is where the scary part comes in. Trying things out in hopes that you’re working toward some grand vision is terrifying. If your attempts are completely off base, you may find yourself in the unemployed crowd once again. If those individuals making the decisions don’t have a sense of patience, your efforts will never fully bloom into their true potential.

Like in gardening, sometimes your efforts bear wonderful fruit and sometimes, nothing grows. Sometimes you even end up feeding all the wildlife in the area without even getting a taste. The only thing left for you is zucchini so you’d better enjoy it…you’re going to have a lot of it. I don’t even know how the wildlife comment works into the comment. Maybe those rabbits and birds are actually coworkers stealing the credit for all your hard work. Darn you rabbits and your sneaky ways of getting ahead.

It’s not only about the Role

The idea of creating a new role is daunting enough without also having to learn about whole new processes and systems. I have the “dis” advantage of having to learn two new systems since, as mentioned above, the “merge” part of the acquisition process is still in progress.

Things as simple as how to connect to wifi or where to go to check for my pay stub are all things I’ve learned are in common locations but initially finding them has proven to be a challenge. Each little thing on its own isn’t a big deal but when they start to stack onto each other, that’s when things get stressful.

If I’ve learned anything from all those mental health articles, books and other resources it’s to take that large pile of “stuff” and break it down into individual, small, manageable pieces. If you don’t know how to connect to the wifi then make that the only thing you work on. Don’t also worry about contacting HR for your pay stub. Just focus on that one thing. Once it’s done, move on to the next one.

The “Monkey Mind”

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not great at breaking things down. I see the big pile and then I freeze. I focus on how big the pile is rather than focusing my attention on just one of the things. While I’m frozen, my “monkey mind” starts to take over. For those unfamiliar with the “monkey mind”, it is basically a state where your mind jumps from thought to thought without control. Imagine a monkey jumping from tree to tree. If you’re prone to anxiety or depression, your monkey mind will take a negative thought path. It sees a problem and then thinks about all the negative scenarios that could occur as a result. Ultimately, these scenarios end in some sort of disaster.

An example of a negative monkey mind would be seeing storm clouds in the distance. Your mind tells you that the storm is coming your way. Not only is it coming your way, but it’s also a large storm with lightning and high winds. While you’re thinking of the storm, you start to suspect that it will have large hail. As you think about the wind, you start to believe that those clouds are forming a tornado and that it will destroy your house and your property and is likely to injure you as well.

You can see from the example above how the anxiety-ridden monkey mind works. It takes a normal situation and blows it out of proportion. The key is to recognize your mind is doing this and then ask yourself how likely it is these things will occur. It’s not an easy thing to do but if you can do it, you will be much better equipped to handle your anxiety.

Pushing through

A key to getting over these stressors is to talk to yourself as though you were consoling a friend. It should be one of those good friends that will be kind. Not that “other” friend…you know the one. Remind yourself that you can’t know everything and that it takes time to meet people and learn enough for you to be productive. It’s helpful to have someone who can tell you this but it’s also very important that you can tell this to yourself. I’m fortunate in that I have a coworker who is very supportive. He acknowledges that it’s rare to get something 100% right the first time. Expect that the first attempt won’t be perfect and then improve on it after you’ve received feedback. Continue this cycle until you’ve achieved what you hoped for.

Remember that you were hired for a reason and that no one expects perfection. Do your best and make continuous improvements. Eventually, you will be confident and a little more comfortable in the new job.

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