What a “Merit”

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melted icecream cone
Photo by Sarah Kilian on Unsplash

In my wife’s family, they use the term “merit” on a regular basis. You’ll hear them say things like “What a merit” or “Like a merit” or even simply “Merit”. The official definition of “merit” is: something that is particularly good and worthy of mention. In my wife’s family, the term means something quite different. Their definition refers to something underwhelming or something that didn’t go quite as planned.

There is a history behind this term. When my wife was in grade school, the school would host a variety of events. These events would be things like science fairs, student art galleries, or any other bazaar intended to make your child feel good regardless of their actual talent. Similar to the events we see today, awards were given out based on the level of talent, creativity, or element of danger presented by the student (think fire-ant science project). Since we, as adults, don’t want to make any child feel bad about themselves we award first, second and third place awards. We also reward those kids that “tried”. In my wife’s school, this was called the “Merit Badge” or “Merit Award”.

The intent behind the “Merit Award” is one of kindness and generosity but kids are much smarter than we give them credit for. They know that a “Merit Award” means “thanks for occupying space during our prestigious event even if you aren’t really that good”. My wife is an astute person and weaponized this terminology against her sibling…my brother-in-law. There was one time when her brother spent hours labouring over some special project he was working on. He was proud to show it off to his family and was looking for approval from his big sister. On presentation of his prized possession, his sister awarded him the honour of “Merit”. I don’t know the actual quality of his efforts but from then on, anything we do as a family that ends up in chaos or is “less than expected”, it is referred to as a “merit”.

The family “merit” situations occur on a sliding scale. There are the minor merit’s which are often small blunders or offences that are repeated again and again. My mother-in-law is a prime candidate for the minor merit. Every time she prepares a meal we will get an opportunity to poke fun at her. It usually starts with her asking “how much of ‘XYZ’ should we make for dinner?” She will then proceed to pull out the biggest mixing bowl she can find under the promise that she won’t fill it. Shortly after saying this, she will fill that bowl like there’s no tomorrow often ending with the comment “why did I make so much?” This happens almost every time. During a 4 day visit it’s quite common to have coleslaw for every meal and fruit salad for every dessert.

On the other end of the scale, we have the “triple M”. This is my own made up term which stands for “Most Memorable Merit”. These are events that have stood the test of time and continue to act as an example of our true potential for blunders. These are things that come up as stories during every holiday season. They’re one of those things that are used for comparison against other merit-worthy events.

I had to do some digging to find an image for one of these “triple M’s” but with some persistence, I found it. I was surprised to learn that this event happened back in late 2014. It’s amazing how these things live on and how quickly we lose track of when they occurred.

During Christmas of 2014 we thought it would be fun to make caramel apples as a family. My wife and I had found some caramel wrappers (probably in a dollar store) and thought they would be perfect as a base for these apples. Our kids were still young so we didn’t have any trouble convincing them to participate. We bought all sorts of goodies to go with this treat. We had bits of candy, chocolate and nuts and had visions of sugary sculptures that would put the Banff Fudgery to shame.

Banff Fudgery candy apples

We sat down and started making our apples. We made several with the caramel wraps and even made some using our own home-made candied apple dip…you know, the kind where your apple gets covered with an impenetrable candy glaze that is sure to destroy the teeth of any unsuspecting snacker.

After an hour or two of family time building these apples — actually, it was probably about 30 minutes until the kids got bored — we had produced some pretty decent specimens. The apples were completely covered with their caramel or candy base and were decorated with the full assortment of toppings. Satisfied with our artistic abilities, we headed downstairs to watch our favorite Christmas movie, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation“. The truth of our skills was to be revealed when we came back upstairs to admire our creations.

The candied apples ended up ok although they were a chore to actually eat. When making candied apples, it is important to pay attention to the thickness of the candy coating being applied. Imagine trying to chew on razor sharp shards of hard candy while also attempting to “be healthy” by snacking on the apple interior. I don’t care how tough you are, a cut to the gums hurts…alot!

Our caramel apples didn’t fare as well. I don’t know if the “dollar store” caramel wraps were the problem, whether the residual heat in the kitchen was too high, or whether the surface of the apples weren’t adequate for holding the caramel in place but we noticed a bit of “sagging” had occurred. In fact, what we ended up with were apples with a stick poking out of them, sitting in a pool of caramel, candy and nuts. When attempting to eat these we were presented with a blast of caramel and candy followed by…just a regular apple on a stick. Needless to say, I think the Banff Fudgery has nothing to worry about.

2014 – Most Memorable Merit

I have many stories about these merit-able events and I intend to share them all over time. The key behind these events is that they’re funny. They’re things we reflect back on with a smile and they can even make us laugh out loud as we recall the way they played out. For us, they tend to happen when we spend time with my mother-in-law. She has an uncanny ability to attract these types of events and has the personality to “play up” these fiasco’s to their fullest. Our kids call her “Amma” which is a name that has stuck for us all…and she is hilarious. For as long as she is with us, I will have plenty of stories to tell.

1 COMMENT

  1. After seeing both pictures, I think anyone would have difficulty picking out the store-bought apples. (Perhaps I need to get some new glasses! What do you think?)

    Amma

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